Archive for category Blogger Fun

Daylight Savings Time?

DST

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Award Season – the BLU:RBS are here …

Lynne has such fun posts! Check it out! 😉

Just 4 My Books

After the Golden Globes, the BAFTAs, the NTAs and now the Oscars, it seems only appropriate to give some recognition to another form of entertainment: READING!
So, here’s my nod to Award Season, with my own specially-crafted statue:

BOOK LOVER’S UNION: RECOMMENDED BOOKS STACK

or the BLU:RBS, as I affectionately call it 😉

Now, before anyone takes this at all seriously, it’s a fun post designed to show off my books and those of my author buddies. No nominations or voting took place. It’s just for laughs 🙂

Let’s get started:

The BLU:RB statuette for best cover goes to: FORBIDDEN COLOURS

Forbidden Colours

What if your memories were not your memories? What if the drug hailed as a cure became a curse and ultimately your destruction?
Midori Yates works for pharmaceutical giant KLD. The launch of new drug Centoria has revolutionised the treatment of amnesia, with outstanding results. Trials exploring its use…

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Random and Useless Trivia


Trivia banner


“Stewardesses” is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

And “lollipop” is the longest word typed with your right hand.  (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn’t you?)

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

“Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.? (Are you doubting this?)

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

The sentence: “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter of the alphabet.  (Now, you KNOW you’re going to try this out for accuracy, right?)

The words ‘racecar,’ ‘kayak’ and ‘level’ are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).   (Yep, I knew you were going to “do” this one.)

There are only four words in the English language which end in “dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. (You’re not doubting this, are you?)

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: “abstemious” and “facetious.” (Yes, admit it, you are going to say, a e i o u)

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.   (All you typists are going to test this out!)

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. (Some days that’s about what my memory span is.)

A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.  (I know some people that could do this too!)

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that also)

Babies are born without kneecaps.  They don’t appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. (Good thing he did that.)

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

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Everything Has a Gender!


Yin and Yang


1) Ziploc Bags are Male because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers are Female because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again.  It’s an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) A Tire is Male because it goes bald and it’s often over-inflated.

4) A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there’s that hot air part.

5) Sponges are Female because they’re soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) A Web Page is Female because it’s always getting hit on.

7) A Subway is Male because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) An Hourglass is Female because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9) A Hammer is Male because it hasn’t changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.

10) A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it’d be male, didn’t you? But consider this – it gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!

 

Smiley

Have a great weekend!

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Happy Festivus!


Happy Festivus banner


Festivus is held on December 23rd each year. In a 1997 episode of the popular television comedy, Seinfeld, Festivus was brought to the masses when Frank Costanza (played by Jerry Stiller) explains he invented Festivus in response to the commercialism of Christmas. Its slogan is “A Festivus for the rest of us.”

festivus origins

HOW TO OBSERVE

Festivus traditions derived from the television episode and the original creator have been combined over the years.

festivus poleThe Festivus pole is an unadorned aluminum pole displayed in the home. In the O’Keefe household, there was no Festivus pole, but instead, a clock was placed in a bag and nailed to the wall.

 

 

MeatloafFestivus dinner is served during the evening. Meatloaf is a Festivus favorite.

 

 

The Airing of Grievances occurs during Festivus dinner. Each person takes turns describing how the others have disappointed him or her over the past year.

Feats of Strength follows dinner and involves wrestling the head of the household. The holiday is not complete unless the head of the household is pinned. Failure to pin the head of the household could result in perpetual Festivus.

A Festivus Miracle is a frequent if unimpressive miracle. Carrying in all the groceries into the house for Festivus Dinner without tripping or dropping one of the bags could be considered a Festivus Miracle.

 

Use #Festivus to post on social media.

However you celebrate, don’t be afraid to get ya’ party on! 😀

 

 

Compiled from National Day Calendar, Giphy, Yahoo, and Google.

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Wacky Wednesday!


WW banner

Got the holiday blahs? Take a break and laugh, smile, or be really sarcastic! 😀 😀 😀


NEW WINTER VIRUS ALERT!!!

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand.

This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT.

This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store.

Purchase the antidotes known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER).

Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

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1. How Do You  Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On  It.

2. How Do You  Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do  Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The  Psycho Path.

4. How Do You  Get Holy Water?
You Boil The  Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do  Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do  Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid’s.

7. What Do You  Call a Boomerang That Doesn’t work?
A Stick.

8. What Do You  Call Cheese That Isn’t Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You  Call Santa’s Helpers?
Subordinate  Clauses.

10. What Do  You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.

11. What Do  You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do  You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies  At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous  Wreck.

14. What’s The  Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can  Roast Beef.

15. Where Do  You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where  You Left Him.

16. Why Do  Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They  Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don’t  Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It  Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind  Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is  The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?!
The Location  Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did  Pilgrims’ Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They  Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What’s The  Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer  Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver  Goes Dang! Whack

22. How Are a  Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody’s  Gonna Lose a Trailer.

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WOMAN’S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She’s sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.


WOMEN’S REVENGE
“Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
“So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.
“No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to come shopping with me,

and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.”


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN’S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I’m not going to understand women.
I’ll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.


MARRIAGE SEMINAR

 

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
“It is essential that husbands and wives know each other’s likes and dislikes.”
He addressed the man,
“Can you name your wife’s favorite flower?”
Tom leaned over, touched his wife’s arm gently and whispered, “It’s Pillsbury, isn’t it?


CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, “Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, “You see, it’s like this,
yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it’s sooo-ooo–oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own ………. so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)


WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”


WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day…
30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men…
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”


CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
“The wife responded, “Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!


WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, “You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, “You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.”
Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”
Husband replies, “I can’t believe that, show me.”
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says ………. “HEBREWS”


The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
“Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.


God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Now, admit it.  At least one of these made you smile!

Smiley

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My Current Situation


I Give Up Bitmoji


Sooo…

I finished my final edits and sent the MS off to my editor.

Did I take a break? Make a sandwich? Get more coffee?

Nope!

I was on a hot streak! Opened another wip and dove in… editing as though my life depended on it.

I was twenty-seven minutes into it… before I discovered I was editing the same MS I’d just sent to my editor.

*Blink*

Um, I think I should go sit in a quiet place for a while…

Bye Felicia Bitmoji

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