It’s that special time of year when we get together with those we care about most and are thankful to have in our lives. Oh, and our families too! 😀
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Title: Haunting Magic
Author: Neely Powell
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Fiona Burns, a witch who sees dead people, meets Hollywood producer Bailey Powers, who sees her as the next cable star—and a fake. Even so, she’s tempted by the dynamic producer in more ways than one. But she has a big distraction—a vicious curse on her family coven.
The ghosts of New Mourne warn of the return of the Woman in White, a vengeful spirit who claims the life of a Connelly witch from every generation. During the battle, Fiona unwittingly fuels the demonic forces, and black magic brings death and heartbreak to her family.
Initially a skeptic, Bailey is soon caught up in her supernatural battle with forces of evil. He’s also beginning to think Fiona can help him escape his haunting past.
With magic and mayhem at war and survival on the line, the Witches of New Mourne face a new challenge from their ancient foe. They discover that not all dark deeds are borne of the Woman but a demon who is bent on gaining the Woman’s powers for his own. Will another generation fall? Or does the curse end here?
Neely Powell is the pseudonym for co-writers Leigh Neely and Jan Hamilton Powell. The best friends met when they both worked at a rock ‘n roll radio station in Chattanooga. It turned out their husbands were long-lost high school buddies, and Jan and Leigh were both writing romantic fiction in their spare time. A partnership was born.
They tried writing fiction together for several years, but life and other adventures got in the way. Their friendship endured as they went on to individual careers. Writing as Celeste Hamilton, Jan published 24 romance novels for Silhouette and Avon Books. Her books appeared on the B. Dalton, Waldenbooks Romance, and USA Today bestseller lists before she left fiction for a career in corporate communications.
In 2010, I discovered my staid, conservative, older brother actually had a sense of humor when he sent me this. I have no idea where it originated from, but I take it out every few months for a chuckle. Can you read it all the way through with a straight face? 😀
Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!
Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Taser.
The effects of the Taser were supposed to be short-lived, with no long-term adverse effect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety…??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home… I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Taser in another.
The directions said that:
a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;
a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and
a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5″ long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, ‘no possible way!’
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best.
I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, ‘Don’t do it, stupid,’ reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it.
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and…
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION! WHAT THE… !!!
I’m pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again—I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note:
If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a Taser,
one note of caution:
There is NO such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three-second burst would be considered conservative!
A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
I’m still looking for my testicles and I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return!
“Runny Babbit Returns”
Genre: Children’s Books/Animals/Humor
Release Date: September 19, 2017
Runny Babbit, the lovable star of Shel Silverstein’s New York Times bestselling poetry book, is back!
Runny Babbit Returns, a collection of 41 never-before-published poems and drawings, features Runny and other woodland characters who speak a topsy-turvy language all their own.
This carefully compiled work from the Silverstein archives is filled with spoonerism poems that are both playful and poignant. With tongue-twisting word play and uproarious characters, the endearingly befuddled Runny Babbit and his friends embody Shel Silverstein’s singular style, the one we all know and love.
Fans of all ages won’t want to miss their chance to follow their favorite Runny in this book of laugh-out-loud adventures!
Genre: Romance Comedy/Humor & Satire
Release Date: September 29, 2014
Revenge is a dish best served cold… while wearing heels.
April has just learned the real reason behind her boss’ impromptu dinner invitation. He only invited her to dinner with his colleagues to prove a point: that he can show up at an event with a plain Jane and still be considered ‘the man’. She expected better from him and had secretly hoped that one day their friendship would grow into something deeper. Now she knows she will always just be his ‘nerdy secretary’ to him.
But her two best friends won’t let her wallow in her pain. They convince her to give Dr. Stewart a dose of his own medicine. The plan: show up at the dinner looking irresistible and prove to her boss that even nerd girls can be sexy. But first, she has to replace her unattractive business suits with something sexier and more revealing. It’s time for a makeover.
Dr. Chad Stewart would never ‘really’ date his secretary. She was too good, too pure for someone as jaded as himself. It didn’t matter that he was half in love with her. But when he needed an ‘average date’ for a dinner party she was the first person he turned to. He thought his secretary was the perfect choice until he arrived to find her looking like his wildest fantasy. But now she knows the real reason for his invite and he can see in her eyes how hurt she is.
Can Chad convince her to forgive him for hurting her or will she walk out of his life… taking his heart with her?
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How much of herself will she be willing to sacrifice to get what she wants? One woman's story of love, lust and betrayal in turn-of-the-century Vienna.
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